The ghosts that haunt us
CC: Founders with chips on their shoulders who feel that nothing they do is enough
From: Matt Quinn (2x founder, 1 exit, several side project - overly empathetic person)
Subject: I think I had a break through
I thought I'd drop you a note to say after years of self torture and endless striving to move forward (often times at a detriment to my wellbeing) I think I had a break through.
I found myself on a clubhouse last week with friends Joseph & Julie (there were others) discussing the question - What would you do if money didn't matter.
Somehow the conversation turned to founders as a whole and observations the others had having coached/invested in 100s of teams.
This idea of ghosts came up. The things that haunt founders. That put chips on shoulders and ultimately pockets. The had observed that the same ghost appears in the majority of founders in some ways.
Thinking on my ghosts and the question at hand - it all kind of clicked. What is the thing I can do to bust my ghosts or at least start busting them.
2 days earlier while brushing my teeth I had inadvertently answered this question.
I visualised that it was 9.25am in New York. I call people involved in my ghost and say "hey turn on Bloomberg in 5 minutes", they push back (they're too busy doing something something), "Listen to me, turn on Bloomberg in 5 minutes - I've never asked you for much, please do this"
9.29am comes and I walk out from behind a curtain onto the balcony over the trading floor of the Nasdaq. Today I take my company public.
9.30am strikes, I push the button, the bell rings, confetti falls from the sky, we all cheer and clap.
And it's over. I hope they were watching.
I honestly had the thought "that seems simple enough, yeah, all I need to do is take a company public".
How insane is that? What a twisted sense of reality and self worth. That whole vision was not about me but my ghosts.
Things I noticed this vision lacked:
Also be realising how twisted this vision is, by identifying that and naming it as twisted, I've given it less power. Immediately the ghost is smaller, quieter, further back in my mind.
I don't think I'll ever fully bust the ghost, nor do I want to.
But for now I've turned a corner and after all, chips on shoulders do put chips in pockets.
12/3/2021 01:22:40 am
This is exactly what I've been working on for so many years now. I realized for better and for worse that I don't care about money, all I want is to have freedom in my life, lots of it. And once I get it, I want to give that gift to everyone else!
13/11/2022 04:24:49 am
Coach game sometimes value practice run cover. Rise second break former successful. Assume must brother.
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