Living with a SEAL (in my head)

At the end of 2021 when I sat down to review my year and write my goals for the next, I felt that I was at the intersection of two major life forces.
1. I had joined a large enterprise as a consulting senior PM 3 months prior
​and
2. I was due my first child in 6 weeks

Whilst I hit all my goals for 2021 something about it all did not feel challenging.

​I am also not your typical employee/person. I scout for VC funds, I’m learning to code, I have my own portfolio of revenue generating products (which I acquired and grew) and on top of that I do a boat load of consulting & advising (both paid & pro bono).

Outside of work I have been setting myself ever larger physical challenges since the beginning of 2019:
Exercise 5 out of 7 days every week (not broken in 3 years)
Cycle across england un-aided and by myself
Cycle Tioga road in Yosemite un-aided and by myself
Cycle the Copper Triangle (Colorado route) un-aided and by myself
Cycle up Mount Evans un-aided
Cycle the Triple bypass by myself
Cycle the Denver century ride by myself

​For the final three I put in months of training and dieting and in the first 6 months of 2021 I shrank my body fat% from 23% to 12%.

But since I hit these feats I have just been ticking my exercise over. I still do 5 days of workouts a week, which includes cycling training but I often procrastinate the start of it and I choose lower intensity & more enjoyable workouts.

Case in point being I have gotten into swinging a kettlebell around but I do not aspire to increase the weight nor reps.

The hunger, the passion, the challenge, the overcoming the suckiness of it all has disappeared.

I spent a lot of the holidays with this unshakable feeling that I was no longer on the path of having an extraordinary life, but was simply becoming an NPC in someone else's story.

This is not who I want to be or be on course to be when my family grows by one.

Back in 2019 when I first got on a road bike I read “Can’t hurt me” by David Goggins and quite honestly it had a profound impact on my life.

My mindset on everything in life completely changed.

I became a mind over matter person. I truly, to my bones, believe your mindset rules everything in life.
​
Somewhere along the way I lost that. I lost the “dog mentality” as Goggins puts it. To always strive for greater. To remain uncomfortable. To get after it day after day. To just DO.

The past few years have taught me, that at least for me:
Physical, personal and professional challenges all come from and add to the same place in my body. My mind.

And so while professional & personal challenges take longer to come to fruition, I can top up the challenge bank with physical feats and achievements.

Somewhere in December fate stepped in and put the book “Living with a seal” in my lap.

The book details a 31 day adventure entrepreneur Jesse Itzler goes on with “Seal” (who’s anonymity was later lifted and to reveal himself as David Goggins) to get him out of his cosy running ‘funk’, break down his comfort zone and rebuild his mindset.

From jumping in an ice cold lake, to sitting in a baking sauna, to being told “you’re not leaving this gym until you do 100 pull ups” Jesse is pushed to what is seemingly impossible lengths physically.

You should be able to guess by now - the theme being that most physical challenges are actually mental.

I often tell newbie cyclists, the difference between a 10 mile ride and a 100 mile ride is mindset.

And so as I first write this at the end of December - I have decided the similarities (to me) between me and Jesse are too many to ignore. I am becoming an NPC and I’m going to break that path before my son is born.

The diary is what follows after this December morning decision. (Will be updated as I go along)

I don’t know if I will make it - but I am pretty sure I will and that is a start in and of itself.

Bear in mind when I started this I had not done a pushup or pull up since 2019. Oh also I live at a mile above sea level - there's 20% less oxygen up here than at sea level.

 30 Dec - Day 1
Started the 31 days with a burpee test
​100 burpees (18mins 05secs)

31 Dec - Day 2
10 nickel and dimes (100 push ups, 50 Seated Rows) 14mins 38secs
30 min peloton 125watts average
40 sit ups

1 Jan - Day 3
30 min peloton 140 watts average
18-1 half pushups (171)

2 Jan - Day 4
60 mins Zwift 178 watts average

3 Jan - Day 5
my legs are really sore so threw in arms
100 Pull ups - this literally took all day. In between every call meeting I was in the basement trying get up that bar.

4 Jan - Day 6
Zwift 45mins @ 139w & 30mins @ 153w

5 Jan - day 7
Slept badly last night with excruciating muscle pain in my back (after the pullups!)
30 min recovery ride on zwift - @ 114w
37 box jumps
100 pushups

6 Jan - day 8
Snow plowed 7 houses with a 50lb vest on
Alpe de Zwift - 1hr 30mins @ 171w
Nickel & dimes - 10 pushups + 5 pullups X 10

My neighbors thought I joined SWAT wearing this

7 Jan - Day 9
25mins Zwift @ 97w
100 burpees (14mins 46secs)

8 Jan - Day 10
31 min zwift @ 163w
(drove 5 hours this day so needed to take it slightly easy)

9 Jan - Day 11
4 hours skiing
100 push-ups
100 sit ups
34min ride @ 152w at 0 Celsius & 75% normal O2 (way up in the mountains)

Skiing Crested Butte

10 Jan - Day 12
4 hours skiing
36 min ride @ 144w at 0 Celsius & 75% normal O2 (way up in the mountains)

11 Jan - Day 13
5 hours skiing
100 burpees (14mins 46secs) at 0 Celsius & 75% normal O2 (way up in the mountains)

12 Jan - Day 14
3 hours skiing
33mins virtual @ 160w at 0 Celsius & 75% normal O2 (way up in the mountains)

13 Jan - Day 15
4 hours skiing
1000ft hike at 62% normal O2
On the way up to the top of the ski lifts we discovered there was an additional 1000ft of elevation that could be skied down, but with Covid staff shortages the lifts accessing that part of the mountain were shut.

My cousin Chris was trying to convince me to hike up there with him to ski down, I was iffing and awwing and then I heard my wife's voice in my head "what would Goggins do?".

Well that settled it, no hesitation. If it didn't suck it wasn't worth doing.

I can tell you, it sucked. Hiking 1000ft in ski boots up snow pack was definitely in the top things that sucked in Jan, but so worth it.

14 Jan - Day 16
3 hours skiing

15 Jan - Day 17
32 min virtual ride @ 167w (outside) -17 Celsius & 75% normal O2
I had to get this one in. The last day in the mountains. So freaking cold but so freaking worth it.

16 Jan - day 18
40mile bike ride 2hrs 10min @ 158w

17 Jan - day 19
Rest

18 Jan - day 20
1-18-1 push-ups (352 pushups)
30 pull ups
Dog walk with 50lb vest on (15mins)
1-18-1 is where you do 1, then 2, then 3 pushups up to 18, and then back down with 60 seconds rest max after each set

19 Jan - day 21
Dog walk with 50lb vest on (15mins)
5 hours skiing

20 Jan - day 22
400 pushups 
200 sit ups
30 pull ups
Dog walk with 50lb vest on (15mins)

I told myself - well if I can do 352 pushups. Why not try 400?

21 Jan - day 23
Dog walk with 50lb vest on (15mins)
30 minutes of supernatural with with 50lb vest on
1 hour Zwift @ 195w

22 Jan - day 24
220 pushups
150 jumping jacks
30 pullups

23 Jan - day 25
Ride outside - 2:33 126W
Dog walk with 50lb vest on (15mins)
Managed to forget my cycling glasses and borrow these pornstar glasses from a local coffee shop

24 Jan - day 26
100 jumping jacks
40 pullups
300 pushups
30 mins recovery ride 80w

25 Jan - day 27
100 sit ups
20 pull ups
40 min ride at 153w
Dog walk with 50lb vest on (15mins)

26 Jan - day 28
REST

27 Jan - day 29
1hr 44 170w
Dog walk with 50lb vest on (15mins)

28 Jan - day 30
100 burpees - (9mins 58secs)
60 pullups
Dog walk with 50lb vest on (15mins)

Finale

There was no firework show, no massive ending. If it wasn't for work commitments I likely would have tried another 100 pull up day (I'm still scarred from the bad sleep I got after that)

Halving my burpee time in 30days feels pretty significant. I didn't set out to improve per se, just to do tough things and survive.

Finishing the 30 days definitely made me realise how tired I was but also how much of tiredness is simply a decision or state of mind.

One of my biggest lessons/takeaways from this experience has been to learn to stop procrastinating. Doing things that suck, is awesome, actually.

And I have carried that into the new month on tasks not just physical but also administrative and professional.

Do things that suck, they make everything else seem easy.

And for next year - I have a baseline of what I need to beat.

Day after day I surprised myself with what my mind said I could not do, but then did and that is an experience I would encourage any human to seek out.

Whether You Think You Can Or Think You Can’t, You’re Right.
​~Henry Ford