After years of trying and several coding courses. I actually built a thing. No guidance, no code along. I sat down, set a goal, wireframed a product and built it.
It is missing so many features, but for now it is an MVP that delivers value to me.
The app is bare so if you have questions drop them in the comments. That's all for now.
My major lesson - in learning to code - the struggle is the lesson, not the sign that you're bad.